Published April 10, 2006
What good is a kiss on broken lips?
Everything we've done and everything to come.
I try to forgive you but how can i?
your kisses mean nothing and you don't even try.
What kind is this love if i have to beg?
lost within a haze and floating in a daze.
i want you to tell me all you've done.
but nothing comes to you and you haven't even come,
to me.
Is this all I can ask for?
do i really mean nothing to you?
do you hate me that much to forget me?
i know that i won't forget you.
what good is love in a liars heart?
i want to trust your soul, but haven't you a goal?
i wish that you'd confide
but it's obvious you've lied,
to me.
Is this all i can ask for?
do i really mean nothing to you?
do you hate me that much to forget me?
i know that i won't forget you.
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141,288 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
I agree: Too many questions. I think you did really good on this poem and I enjoyed reading it. There are a few errors and i think you should capitalize as well.
I don't know why but I have the urge to say TOO MANY QUESTIONS!
Honestly, in poems usually there are no questions or very little ones, and it's from the unknown that questions are asked... for me anyway...
Nice job otherwise. Capitalize the I's as cathy said... yes... nice job.
Take this out of the two stanza;s it appears in. It does nothing but halt the flow of the poem.
Overall, this is really good, I quite enjoyed reading it. Nicely done.
Other than the errors it was as really good piece of work and I enjoyed reading it.
I think it is a really good poem, but if you put capital letters at the beginning of each line and capital letters for "I". Also I don't think you need to put a comer at the end of this line :
and